You’ve planned the wedding. Maybe even practiced your first dance. But if we’re being honest—most couples put more energy into choosing a playlist than they do into learning how to actually do life together. I’m not knocking the party. I’m saying: the party ends. The relationship doesn’t.

That’s where premarital therapy comes in. And no, it’s not because you’re in trouble. It’s because you care enough to plan for more than a wedding day. You’re building something real—and therapy helps you do it with intention.

So, Who’s Premarital Therapy Really For? It’s for the couple who just got engaged and wants to know they’re not missing anything big. For the pair who’s been together forever but never talked about money without spiraling. For the second-marriage folks trying to do it differently. For anyone who’s said, “We’re great, but I wish we had a better way to handle conflict.”

Premarital therapy isn’t about pointing out what’s wrong. It’s about shining a light on what’s unspoken—the stuff that quietly shapes how you love, argue, parent, spend, connect, and repair.

Why It’s Not Just “Couples Therapy Lite” A lot of people assume premarital therapy is like couples therapy, just with less drama. Not quite. In premarital work, we’re not treating a wound—we’re building emotional muscle before the injuries. It’s proactive, intentional, and often really energizing. You’re not just learning communication skills; you’re learning how your specific relationship functions under pressure, and what each of you needs to feel safe and close.

And here’s what we actually talk about:

• How you fight—and how you repair
• What intimacy means (and doesn’t mean) to you
• Family-of-origin stuff that still shows up at the dinner table
• Boundaries, emotional labor, and how you divvy up life
• Money, kids, sex, spirituality, rest—nothing off-limits

Okay, But Is This Really Necessary? Let’s be real: no one ever taught us how to be in a relationship. Most of us are winging it with what we absorbed growing up. Premarital therapy slows that down. It gives you tools. It gives you perspective. And it gives you language for the things you feel, but maybe haven’t known how to say.

Some of what I use comes from attachment theory, somatic work, and family systems—because let’s face it, your nervous system and your upbringing are definitely in the room, even if your in-laws aren’t. Other sessions might pull from more structured frameworks, like the Gottman Method or newer models that blend differentiation and connection.

But the real power is in what happens between you two. My job is to help you hear each other better—and be heard in return. Not because it’s cute. Because it’s how long-term relationships survive.

The Takeaway You can have a gorgeous wedding and a confused marriage. Or you can use this season to create something grounded, honest, and ready for the life you’re building.

Premarital therapy isn’t a box to check—it’s an investment in your future emotional home. And if you ask me, that matters way more than the cake.

Based in Hermosa Beach, I work with couples across California who want to start strong. Not perfect—just prepared, connected, and real.