subject spotlight
Therapy for trauma
Trauma is a deeply personal and often confusing experience. It affects individuals in unique ways, sometimes leaving them feeling disconnected from themselves and the world around them. When we hear the word "trauma," it’s easy to conjure up images of major, life-altering events, but the reality is that trauma manifests in many forms, some less obvious but still just as impactful. Whether you're dealing with the cumulative effects of difficult relationships, a significant life event, or those small but painful experiences that can slowly wear you down, understanding the nature of trauma is key to recovery.
In therapy in Hermosa Beach, we recognize that trauma isn’t one-size-fits-all. To truly heal, we need to understand the different ways trauma can affect us and learn how to support ourselves and others through it. Let’s dive into the three main types of trauma—Relational Trauma, Little "t" Trauma, and Big "T" Trauma—and explore how working with a therapist in Hermosa Beach, whether in individual therapy or couples therapy, can help you move forward.
Relational trauma, also referred to as attachment trauma, occurs when we experience emotional, psychological, or physical harm in our most significant relationships. This type of trauma doesn’t necessarily stem from one single event; rather, it’s often the result of long-term instability, neglect, or abuse from people we rely on—whether that’s family members, romantic partners, caregivers, or close friends. This form of trauma can be subtle, sometimes creeping into our lives in ways that are hard to detect, yet it leaves deep emotional wounds that are challenging to heal without professional help.
Here are some common causes of relational trauma:
Complex Family Dynamics
Growing up in a family where emotional neglect, physical abuse, or constant instability is the norm can profoundly affect your emotional development. Maybe your caregivers had addiction issues, or perhaps codependency and enmeshment were part of your household's dynamics. These experiences often result in unhealthy attachment styles and a skewed sense of what love and care should feel like. In therapy in Hermosa Beach, individual therapy can be a safe place to untangle those complex family dynamics and rebuild your sense of self-worth.
Domestic Violence
Living through domestic violence leaves emotional scars that extend well beyond the abusive relationship. Survivors often face long-term effects on their sense of security, trust, and ability to form new relationships. Therapy in Hermosa Beach offers a compassionate space where survivors can process their trauma and work towards regaining control over their lives. Couples therapy can also support those in current relationships, helping them address trust issues or trauma-related emotional triggers.
Abandonment
Repeated experiences of abandonment—whether emotional or physical—leave deep relational wounds that can follow someone into adulthood. This can manifest as a fear of rejection, insecurity, and a tendency to seek out or recreate toxic relationships that perpetuate the cycle of abandonment. Working with a therapist in Hermosa Beach can help you break these patterns. In couples therapy, partners can learn how to navigate these wounds together, building a sense of trust and safety that’s essential for long-lasting, fulfilling relationships.
Betrayal of Trust
When trust is violated, especially by those we rely on for care, it shakes our sense of safety and ability to depend on others. Betrayal of trust during childhood or later in life can lead to a deep sense of insecurity, which can be hard to repair on your own. Individual therapy and couples therapy in Hermosa Beach can guide you through the process of rebuilding trust, whether it’s within yourself or in your relationships.
Enmeshment
In enmeshed relationships, boundaries blur to the point where it’s hard to tell where one person ends and the other begins. This lack of autonomy can lead to feelings of suffocation and loss of self. Often, enmeshment is a coping mechanism developed from relational trauma, making it crucial to address both the root cause and the symptoms. In therapy in Hermosa Beach, you'll work on setting healthy boundaries and reclaiming your sense of independence.
Relational Trauma: When close relationships go wrong
Common examples of Little “t” Trauma include:
Emotional Neglect: Growing up in a household where your emotional needs were consistently unmet can leave deep, lasting scars.
Bullying: Being repeatedly harassed or excluded can chip away at your self-esteem and sense of safety.
Toxic Relationships: Long-term exposure to emotionally manipulative or abusive friends or partners can cause significant emotional harm.
Loss and Grief: Losing a loved one or dealing with the end of a meaningful relationship can leave behind unresolved pain.
Chronic Illness: Coping with prolonged health issues, either personally or with a loved one, can create a persistent sense of helplessness.
Financial Instability: The stress of ongoing financial difficulties can weigh heavily on mental health.
The emotional toll of Little "t" Trauma can lead to issues such as anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and difficulty forming healthy relationships. In therapy in Hermosa Beach, individual therapy can help identify and heal these often-overlooked emotional wounds, while couples therapy offers a way for partners to understand how these traumas may be affecting their relationship.
Little "t" Trauma: The subtle yet significant emotional pain
Natural Disasters: Events like hurricanes or earthquakes that shake your sense of security.
Combat Experiences: Military personnel who experience combat often develop PTSD from the extreme stress and danger.
Physical or Sexual Abuse: These forms of trauma can shatter your sense of safety and trust.
Life-Threatening Accidents: Surviving a serious accident can lead to trauma that reverberates through your mental and physical health.
Big "T" Trauma often results in conditions like PTSD, anxiety, depression, and trust issues. In therapy in Hermosa Beach, survivors of major trauma can find a safe space to process their experiences, rebuild their lives, and begin to heal. Individual therapy focuses on providing the tools to manage symptoms and heal, while couples therapy can help those whose relationships have been impacted by trauma.
Big "T" Trauma: The life-altering events
In individual therapy, you’ll have the opportunity to work through your specific trauma experiences in a compassionate and supportive environment. You’ll learn coping strategies, emotional regulation skills, and how to cultivate healthier relationships with yourself and others.
For those in relationships, couples therapy in Hermosa Beach can be an invaluable resource. Trauma often creates barriers to intimacy and communication, but with the right guidance, couples can learn how to navigate these challenges together. Whether you're dealing with trust issues, emotional disconnection, or lingering wounds from past relationships, couples therapy can help rebuild a strong, trusting foundation.
Some benefits of both individual and couples therapy are identifying and managing triggers; building healthy coping skills; reducing feelings of anger, frustration, sadness and guilt; and overall improvement in health, relationships, well being and quality of life.
Healing from trauma takes time, but with the support of a therapist, you can move forward toward a life that feels fulfilling, connected, and secure. Whether you’re seeking help for yourself or your relationship, taking that first step into therapy can be the most important part of your healing journey.
