What Is a High-Conflict Relationship?
High-conflict doesn’t always mean shouting matches or broken plates (though sometimes it can get that heated). More often, it’s the quieter but relentless patterns that leave both of you drained. Maybe it’s arguments that flare up over small things but quickly spiral into something bigger. Maybe it’s the same issue resurfacing again and again, no matter how many times you’ve tried to resolve it. For some couples, it looks like one person shutting down while the other grows louder and more insistent. For others, it’s the constant tug-of-war between defensiveness, blame, or stonewalling that makes even simple conversations feel impossible. What’s consistent is the feeling of being stuck: wanting connection but getting pulled into the same exhausting cycle.
Therapy for High Conflict Couples in Los Angeles
Couples therapy for High conflict in Hermosa Beach and Los Angeles
Longing for Connection, Caught in the Clash
Couples therapy for High conflict in Hermosa Beach and Los Angeles
therapy can help if you are looking to...
Understand what’s really underneath the conflict and not just what’s being said in the heat of the moment. By slowing down and focusing on emotions and attachment needs, you can finally get to the heart of what’s driving the arguments.
therapy can help if you are looking to...
Work with your nervous systems, not against them. Instead of staying stuck in reactivity, you’ll learn to notice your wiring, regulate in real time, and build tools that support security and connection.
therapy can help if you are looking to...
Rebuild trust and accountability, especially if criticism, defensiveness, contempt, or betrayal have taken root. Therapy offers a space to repair ruptures and create a new pattern of reliability and safety.
therapy can help if you are looking to...
Unpack power dynamics and unhealthy roles that may have come from childhood, culture, or past relationships. By naming these patterns, you can begin to create a relationship that feels more balanced and respectful.
therapy can help if you are looking to...
Improve communication and listening skills so you can actually hear each other. In therapy, you’ll practice slowing down, staying present, and speaking in ways that build empathy rather than fuel disconnection.
therapy can help if you are looking to...
Develop effective strategies for conflict resolution. Instead of escalating, you’ll learn practical tools for approaching disagreements with curiosity and compassion, so you can navigate hard moments without tearing each other down.
therapy can help if you are looking to...
Address both individual and relationship needs. Therapy makes space for each partner’s history, emotions, and struggles while strengthening your shared bond, so growth happens on both personal and relational levels.
We might be a good fit If...
Strengthen your ability to repair quickly after conflict. All couples argue, but high-conflict couples often stay stuck. Therapy helps you learn how to come back to each other with honesty, care, and renewed commitment.
High conflict doesn’t usually come from indifference- it comes from passion colliding with old wounds. Every slammed door or sharp word often masks something vulnerable: fear of being abandoned, fear of being controlled, fear of not being enough. In therapy, we slow down and look beneath the fight, so you can reconnect with the love that’s been there all along.
Couples therapy for High conflict in Hermosa Beach and Los Angeles
What we’ll work on together
Couples therapy for High conflict in Hermosa Beach and Los Angeles
Identifying the Roots of Your Conflict
• Getting curious about the stuck cycles you’re in and how they developed and what fuels it
• Understanding your individual histories and how they shape how you react, protect, and connect
• Mapping your nervous system responses and learning how to co-regulate in real time
Practicing Co-Regulation
• Learning to recognize when you or your partner are dysregulated and what helps
• Building skills to soothe one another in moments of intensity rather than escalate or withdraw
• Creating rituals of connection and safety, especially during or after conflict
• Shifting the emotional climate of your relationship from “fight or flight” to grounded and responsive
Practicing New Tools
• Repairing after conflict in ways that rebuild trust
• Setting and respecting boundaries without shutting each other out
• Having hard conversations with more openness and less defensiveness
• Learning to stay in dialogue without spiraling into disconnection or escalation
Rebuilding Emotional Intimacy
• Shifting from blame to shared responsibility without getting stuck in shame or defensiveness
• Slowing down enough to actually feel each other again
• Reclaiming the tenderness, humor, and emotional safety that may have been lost
• Strengthening your capacity for vulnerability and reflection
• Repairing in a way that actually lands, so it’s felt and received
