An existential crisis isn’t something that pops up out of nowhere—it often comes on after prolonged stress or major life changes. These might be external events like losing a loved one, going through a breakup, or receiving a diagnosis of a serious illness. Sometimes, they can be internal shifts, like turning a milestone age (think 40 or 50) or reflecting on whether your life has lived up to your expectations.

It's important to acknowledge that experiencing these types of crises is part of the human condition. We all face these deep, sometimes unsettling questions at different points in our lives. Often, they help us grow and reshape how we see ourselves. But when these questions start to weigh us down, they can lead to feelings of emptiness, self-doubt, or fear.

Why Does an Existential Crisis Happen?

One of the key features of an existential crisis is its emotional intensity. It’s not just about having philosophical thoughts or intellectual musings—it’s about how these thoughts make you feel. The uncertainty of life’s meaning can bring up a range of emotions, from anxiety to sadness, and sometimes anger or frustration. These feelings, though difficult, are part of what makes the experience so profound.

Often, people try to avoid or numb these uncomfortable emotions. Maybe it’s by throwing themselves into work, distracting themselves with entertainment, or avoiding the topic altogether. But when we push these feelings aside, they don’t disappear—they just simmer beneath the surface, waiting to emerge. This can lead to what some might call a “false happiness,” where it feels like you’re going through the motions, but deep down, there’s a sense of disconnect or inauthenticity.

This is where therapy can be incredibly helpful. A therapist creates a safe space where you don’t have to avoid your emotions anymore. Instead, you’re encouraged to confront and express them. In fact, honoring all of your emotions—both positive and negative—is a critical part of healing. Rather than running from feelings like sadness, anger, or fear, you’re invited to sit with them, explore them, and understand what they’re trying to tell you.

The Emotional Component of an Existential Crisis

One of the reasons people can spiral into an existential crisis is when they feel like they’re living inauthentically. This might mean they’re living a life that doesn’t align with their true values, or they’re playing a role that doesn’t feel genuine. Maybe they’re pursuing a career because it’s what’s expected of them, or they’re in a relationship that doesn’t reflect who they really are.

When we feel disconnected from our true selves, it can lead to anxiety, a crisis of identity, and, ultimately, an existential crisis. It’s like wearing a mask for so long that you forget what your real face looks like. And as you start to peel back the layers, it can feel disorienting, even frightening. You might start to question everything: “If I’m not who I thought I was, then who am I?”

In therapy, this process of discovering or rediscovering your authentic self is a key focus. Together with your therapist, you can explore what parts of your life feel true and what parts feel forced. You can begin to break down the barriers that have kept you from living authentically, and start making choices that reflect your true values and desires. This process can be deeply empowering, helping you feel more connected to yourself and more in control of your life.

Authenticity and Identity

One of the biggest triggers for an existential crisis is the awareness of mortality. Whether it’s aging, illness, or the loss of a loved one, facing the reality of death can be overwhelming. Questions like “Have I lived a meaningful life?” or “What happens after I die?” can provoke intense fear and anxiety. It’s natural to feel this way—death is the ultimate unknown, and it challenges our sense of control and certainty.

For some people, the awareness of mortality becomes a powerful motivator to live more fully. But for others, it can lead to feelings of dread or hopelessness, especially if they feel they haven’t accomplished what they wanted in life. Therapy can provide a space to explore these feelings, process the fear, and come to terms with the limitations of life. While we can’t change the fact that we’re mortal, we can change how we respond to it.

Facing Mortality

Humans are social creatures, and our sense of meaning is often tied to the connections we have with others. However, finding the right balance between connectedness and isolation can be tricky. Too much isolation can lead to feelings of loneliness and alienation, while too much socializing without time for self-reflection can cause us to lose touch with ourselves.

During an existential crisis, this balance often comes into question. Maybe you’ve experienced a breakup or lost a close friend, and you’re feeling disconnected from others. Or perhaps you’ve been so focused on your relationships that you’ve lost a sense of your own identity. Therapy can help you explore these dynamics and find a healthy balance between being connected to others and staying true to yourself.

The Role of Connectedness and Isolation

Another central theme of an existential crisis is the freedom to make choices—and the responsibility that comes with that freedom. It can feel liberating to realize that you’re in control of your life, but it can also be paralyzing. The fear of making the “wrong” choice can lead to indecision or anxiety. And the realization that our choices shape our existence can provoke deep self-doubt.

In therapy, you can explore this tension between freedom and responsibility. Instead of viewing choices as a source of fear, you can begin to see them as opportunities for growth. Therapy can help you clarify your values, so you can make decisions that are aligned with who you are, rather than being driven by fear or the need for external validation.

Freedom and Responsibility

At its core, therapy during an existential crisis is about self-exploration and meaning-making. Your therapist isn’t there to provide you with answers, but to guide you through your own journey of discovery. This is a collaborative process, where you and your therapist work together to explore your feelings, thoughts, and experiences.

One of the key elements of therapy is creating a space where all parts of you are welcome. There’s no need to hide your fears, doubts, or anxieties. Instead, therapy encourages you to bring those feelings to the surface, so they can be explored, understood, and ultimately transformed. This process can help you create a deeper sense of meaning and purpose, even in the face of life’s uncertainties.

In therapy, the goal isn’t necessarily to find the “right” answers to life’s big questions, but to find answers that feel authentic and true to you. By exploring your emotions, values, and experiences, you can begin to craft a life that reflects who you really are—a life that feels meaningful, even in the midst of uncertainty.

Ultimately, the aim of therapy is to help you live more authentically. This means making choices that reflect your true values, embracing all of your emotions (even the difficult ones), and accepting the uncertainty of life. It’s about finding or creating meaning, rather than searching for it in places that don’t resonate with you.

Through this process, you can move from a place of fear and anxiety to a place of clarity and confidence. You’ll start to see that the very questions that once felt overwhelming can actually guide you toward a deeper understanding of yourself and your place in the world.

So, while an existential crisis may feel like a daunting and confusing experience, it’s also an opportunity for growth and transformation. With the support of therapy, you can navigate this journey in a way that leads to a more authentic, meaningful life.

How Therapy Can Help You Navigate Existential Issues