Green Flags in Relationships: Signs You’re on the Right Track
When it comes to relationships, we spend a lot of time talking about red flags—the warning signs that make you want to pack up your emotional baggage and sprint in the other direction. But what about the green flags? You know, those glowing indicators that you’re in a relationship built on mutual respect, emotional safety, and a real shot at lasting love? If you’re wondering whether your relationship has what it takes, here are some green flags to look for (and celebrate!).
At my therapy practice in Hermosa Beach, I see couples all the time who are trying to figure out whether their relationship is built to last. Spoiler alert: Healthy relationships aren’t just about avoiding the bad; they’re about recognizing—and actively cultivating—the good. So let’s talk about what actually makes a relationship feel safe, loving, and sustainable.
1. You Feel Safe Being Yourself
A huge green flag? Feeling like you can show up as your full, unfiltered self—whether that’s deep thoughts, silly jokes, or your weirdly specific obsession with 90s sitcoms. If your partner makes space for all of you (without trying to fix or change you), that’s a solid sign of emotional safety and acceptance. In individual therapy, I often help people unlearn the belief that they have to “perform” in a relationship. The right person won’t make you feel like you need to edit yourself.
2. Communication is Open, Honest, and Drama-Free
Disagreements happen in every relationship, but how you handle them is key. If your partner listens, validates your feelings, and works with you to find solutions instead of shutting down or blowing up, that’s a major green flag. Bonus points if they remember things you’ve shared and bring them up in meaningful ways later. In couples therapy in Hermosa Beach, a lot of my work involves helping partners shift from reactive, defensive conversations to ones rooted in curiosity and understanding.
3. They Support Your Goals (Without Making It About Them)
A healthy relationship means cheering each other on, not competing for the spotlight. Whether it’s a career change, a fitness goal, or just sticking to your new bedtime routine, a great partner wants to see you win and supports your growth without making it about their needs. This means celebrating your successes, encouraging you when things get tough, and not feeling threatened by your ambitions. Couples therapy can help if one or both partners struggle with this balance.
4. They Respect Your Boundaries
Healthy love doesn’t push, pressure, or guilt-trip. A big green flag is when your partner respects your boundaries—whether that’s needing alone time, maintaining friendships outside the relationship, or not being ready for certain milestones. Respect is love in action. If you ever feel like your boundaries are being tested or ignored, individual therapy can be a great way to explore why and how to reinforce them.
5. You Actually Have Fun Together
This one seems obvious, but a relationship should feel good more often than it feels like work. If you laugh together, enjoy simple moments, and can turn even mundane errands into a good time, that’s a fantastic indicator of long-term compatibility. In therapy, I often remind couples that joy is not a luxury in relationships—it’s a necessity.
6. They Take Accountability
No one is perfect, but a great partner owns their mistakes, apologizes sincerely, and makes an effort to do better. If your person can say, “You’re right, I messed up,” instead of deflecting or blaming, that’s relationship gold. Accountability builds trust, and without trust, well… you’re going to be in couples therapy sooner rather than later.
7. They Make You Feel Appreciated
Feeling valued in a relationship isn’t just about grand romantic gestures—it’s about the little things, too. A genuine “thank you,” remembering how you take your coffee, or checking in on your stressful day all show that your partner sees and appreciates you. The happiest couples I work with in therapy in Hermosa Beach aren’t the ones who never argue—they’re the ones who consistently express gratitude for each other.
8. Conflict Doesn’t Mean Chaos
Arguments aren’t a dealbreaker—handling them poorly is. A green flag relationship means conflicts are handled with respect, and even when you disagree, there’s still a foundation of love and understanding. No name-calling, no silent treatment, no emotional warfare—just two people figuring things out together. Couples therapy can help if conflict tends to escalate in unhelpful ways.
9. Your Relationship Feels Like a Partnership
A relationship should feel like teamwork, not a constant power struggle. You both contribute, support each other, and share responsibilities in a way that feels fair. This doesn’t mean everything is perfectly 50/50 all the time, but it does mean there’s a sense of mutual investment. If one person feels like they’re carrying the emotional or logistical load alone, therapy can help rebalance things.
10. Your Friends and Family See It Too
Sometimes, the people who love you most can see things you might miss. If your friends and family (the ones who truly have your best interests at heart) are rooting for your relationship, that’s usually a good sign. If everyone in your life is subtly (or not-so-subtly) raising an eyebrow, it might be worth exploring why.
Final Thoughts
If you recognize these green flags in your relationship, congratulations—you’ve got a strong foundation! And if you’re still searching for a partner who meets you in these ways, don’t settle. Healthy, loving relationships exist, and therapy can help you navigate your own patterns and expectations to build one that truly works for you.
Need help figuring out what’s getting in the way of the love you want? Let’s talk. Therapy in Hermosa Beach isn’t just about fixing problems—it’s about creating the kind of relationship where green flags aren’t the exception but the norm. Whether you’re looking for individual therapy or couples therapy, investing in your emotional well-being is always a green flag move.
