Nervous System Regulation

Ever feel like you’re on edge 24/7, ready to fight, flee, or curl up in a blanket burrito and pretend adulting isn’t real? That’s your nervous system doing its thing—sometimes a little too well.

As a therapist in Hermosa Beach, I see so many individuals and couples who don’t realize their nervous system is running the show. Your body isn’t just being dramatic—it’s responding to years of stress, trauma, or even just the everyday chaos of modern life. When your nervous system is stuck in overdrive, you’re not just anxious or exhausted—you’re wired for survival, even when there’s no real threat.

Signs Your Nervous System Is in Overdrive:

• You’re always on alert, like a lifeguard who never gets off duty.
• Small stressors feel like a five-alarm fire.
• You struggle to relax, even during so-called “downtime.”
• Your patience for your partner’s chewing noises is dangerously low.
• Sleep? What’s that? Your brain thinks 3 a.m. is the perfect time for an existential crisis.
• You either overwork yourself or procrastinate like it’s your job (because technically, it is).

Why Does This Happen?

Your nervous system isn’t malfunctioning—it’s just overly efficient at trying to keep you safe. If you’ve dealt with stress, trauma, or emotional neglect (hello, childhood conditioning), your body may have learned to stay in a constant state of high alert. This means your brain and body are primed to react to stress, even when stress isn’t actually happening.

And when this becomes a pattern, it can affect everything—your ability to be present, your relationships, even your physical health. That’s why regulating your nervous system isn’t just about “relaxation”—it’s about retraining your body to feel safe again.

So, How Do You Calm the Storm?

Regulating your nervous system isn’t about forcing yourself to “just relax” (because if that worked, you wouldn’t be reading this). It’s about rewiring your body’s response to stress in ways that actually stick. Here’s what we focus on in individual therapy and couples therapy in Hermosa Beach:

1. Breathwork That Actually Works – No, not just “deep breaths.” Techniques like box breathing, physiological sighs, and extending your exhale help your body shift out of stress mode and into a state of calm.
2. Movement (But Make It Gentle) – Your nervous system loves rhythm. Walking, stretching, yoga, or even swaying like a happy weirdo can work wonders. Bonus points for movement outdoors—sunlight helps reset your internal clock and lowers stress hormones.
3. Co-Regulation in Relationships – If your partner’s stress stresses you out, learning how to regulate together is a game changer. This could be as simple as syncing your breathing, holding hands, or engaging in activities that foster a sense of safety and connection. (Hint: Couples therapy can help.)
4. Rewriting Your Stress Story – If your go-to response is panic, avoidance, or overthinking, therapy can help you build new, healthier patterns. Your nervous system learned its survival mode from past experiences, but it can also learn new ways to respond to life’s challenges with more ease.
5. Nervous System-Friendly Daily Habits – Eating nourishing foods, getting enough sleep, reducing stimulants like caffeine (I know, don’t hate me), and minimizing doom-scrolling all play a role in keeping your nervous system from spiraling.

Nervous system regulation isn’t just self-care—it’s self-rewiring. And whether you’re working through it solo or in a relationship, therapy in Hermosa Beach is a great place to start. Ready to stop feeling like a stress ball with legs? Let’s talk.